My Love Language Changed When I Had Kids: 7 Things My Husband Does to Make My Life Easier

In the last 5 years, my husband and I have gotten married, made two international moves, had a miscarriage, bought our first home, and had 2 healthy wonderful daughters.

And let me be the first to say, my love language from dating at 22 to motherhood at 33 has significantly changed. I was a Words of Affirmation kind of girl (I still need this, but not as much), and I loved a well thought out gift, but I would trade every cute thing in my closet TODAY for a lifetime of Acts of Service since having Baby Number Two.

Every day he makes my life easier in ways he may not even know. Ways he doesn’t have to.

This is part a thank you and part a guide.

Partners, if you don’t know how to help when it comes to parenting…Here you go.

 – 7 Things my Husband Does to Make My Life Easier –

1. He gets up with Baby Number One and lets me sleep an hour. I went through a phase of getting up at 6 a.m. a la Mel Robbins, and I truly, truly miss it. But this season of life is exhausting and that extra 30 minutes to an hour is my deepest sleep. Sometimes I feel guilty about it. I usually talk myself out of that pretty quickly. I get up to nurse with Baby Number Two and then head downstairs.
2. He makes coffee every single morning. Every night he preps the coffee pot, and every morning he presses the button. When I head downstairs, Baby Number Two in hand, my coffee cup is sitting there ready to go.
3. He makes the bed. After coffee, he heads upstairs to get ready for work, and after he showers and gets dressed, he makes our bed. When I head back upstairs and it’s made, my heart flutters. It feels like the day is ready when the bed is made, and instead of making me fight with the sheets with two babies hanging off me, he does it.
4. He grocery shops. He can get in and out of a grocery store in about a half hour, 45 minutes if he takes the 3-year-old. You should know that he is really good at grocery shopping. Sunday mornings, we plan the dinners for the week ahead and he heads off to the store. With two kids, this would take me forever and a meltdown. And when I do leave the house to run errands by myself, the grocery store is my least favorite.
5. And then he cooks. We switch off on this, but if I am having a rough day, I don’t even need to mention it. He will walk in the door, put his bags down, kiss us all hello and start cooking. If the meal is more complex, he will sous chef everything in the morning. Whether he is cooking or it’s me, it goes a thousand times easier with everything already chopped.
6. He pulls my car in the garage. When Baby Number Two entered our lives, I joined the squad I never knew I always wanted to be in. The Minivan Squad. I am obsessed with my minivan, but I have a horrible habit of adding unwanted racing stripes to my vehicles. I’m not great at pulling cars into tight garages. Every day, I leave my van in the driveway. And every night, he pulls the van in.
7. Shower time is a tag team event. It’s like a toddler car wash. I get in the shower, the 3-year-old enters, she gets washed, she starts to play (clean the shower), the baby gets handed to me, the baby gets cleaned, handed back, he dresses the baby, I shampoo, he comes back and gets the toddler, I shave my legs and finish showering, I get out. Then it’s time for books, nursing, and bedtime. It’s a finely choreographed hour I would love to watch on timelapse, but a shower video is a hard pass. The nights he is late to get home from work, I severely miss my pit crew.

Every family is so different. And everyone’s love language is different. But what I can tell you is if you have been feeling a little lost in communication with your partner lately, reevaluate your love languages.

Maybe you switched from Acts of Service to Words of Affirmation or Physical Touch? Maybe they have? Finding a few tiny things that make them smile a few times a day is a game changer for a marriage.

Communication and reassessment are key!

Photos by Morgan Hayes Photography