I was at a local splash pad here in Gwinnett County. There were a group of moms to the side. A kid came up to their mom and wanted her to play in the water fountain with them. She said no because she was too fat to be in a bathing suit. The kid walked away with her head low. I felt bad for both the mother and the kid. The mother wasn’t being mom shamed by anyone but herself. At that moment I knew I had to face my own negative and shaming voices that are robbing my motherhood.
I’m 42 this s year. I weigh 210 lbs. I’m a size 14/12. I’ve had two c-sections. I sometimes look like I’m pregnant because of my stretched out belly. I am usually wearing workout clothes. I have wrinkles and cellulite. My breasts are saggy. I’m not crafty. My kids are wild. I’m a hot mess mom on most days. My kids eat cereal for dinner and sometimes on a crazy busy day it’s popcorn and yogurt.
But to my 7-year-old daughter, I’m perfect. She doesn’t care about any of my flaws or imperfections or that all her meals aren’t organic. She doesn’t care that at my heaviest of 327 lbs I was huge. She is just happy I take selfies with her. When she was doing a fun run at her school; she didn’t care my fat flapped as I ran beside her. She loved I was at her side supporting her. When we are at the splash pads, she loves I play with her. She doesn’t care what I look like. She just cares that despite my imperfections I’m active in her childhood.
I don’t have many pictures of my mother and I growing up. So when I became a mother, I decided no matter what I looked like she would have pictures of us together.
Moms, let’s all unite and stop mom shaming ourselves. So what if we aren’t perfect. Our kids don’t see our imperfections but see us as awesome. Wear that bathing suit and play with your kids in the splash pads. Feeling fat and bloated but your kid wants a picture with you, go ahead and take it. Your child won’t look at those pictures years later and notice you were fat. They will only remember how fun it was that day at the park feeding ducks. Tell the negative voices in your own head to leave you alone because you aren’t going to let them rob your motherhood any longer. They don’t care if your hair is done, makeup or no makeup, fat or skinny, old or young. All kids want is you and all of you unconditionally.
I am so grateful for this time with my children. I don’t want to miss anything with them. I don’t want to hold myself back from experiences and moments with them. I love how active and adventurous they are. The negative voices are still there but I’ve told them to shut up. I am an awesome mom who has come a long way despite a challenging childhood. Moms have enough pressures so it’s time we all give ourselves the same grace we give our fellow moms.
Let’s be our own best friend and cheerleader. I challenge each of to be more active and present in our kids summer. You will regret it later if you don’t. Wear the bathing suit, take the selfie and play with your kids who love and adore you despite your imperfections.