My daughter is turning 9 soon! She’s opinionated, sweet, sassy, independent, smart, bossy, emotional, and confident with a side of anxiety. She’s noticing the changes in her body physically and she’s not sure of her place. This adds to her already present anxiety. She’s constantly saying, “What if I’m not ready?” I’m constantly trying to tell her she’s going to be fine.
Momma’s I’m not sure about this stage, to be honest!!! I’m scared, anxious and unsure of myself. I was raised by my paternal grandparents who just gave me a couple of pamphlets about entering puberty and what to expect. There was no talking about how the body changes or even how to adjust to hormones, acne, and periods. I had to learn on my own or from friends how to navigate awkwardly into womanhood.
My daughter is amazing and super curious. She’s full of questions I’m not sure if I have the answers to, especially some major ones. She’s no longer wearing hair bows but wants to roller skate and play video games. She’s playing less with her dolls and stuffed animals. Instead of getting our nails done we are shopping for bras now.
I hated these years. I had gotten my menstrual cycle at age 11. I remember I forgot my pads at home so I had to go to the school nurse and she gave me this huge pad everyone could see!!! I was embarrassed and mortified. My acne was horrible and I hated having breasts. I felt like an ugly ducking for sure.
I didn’t know how or what to do with my emotions. I was angry and very emotional. I honestly didn’t know who to turn too and ask about those embarrassing situations that occur with periods.
So for my daughter, I want her to come to me and be comfortable to ask those questions I felt I couldn’t. I also want her to stop storming off and rolling her eyes. I’m glad she’s growing up but am I ready for this? The Tween Years!!!!! I wanted desperately growing up for someone to see past the angst. I’m trying to with Zoe. I want her to know despite the challenges and physical changes she’s facing that my love for her is constant and never-ending. She can always find shelter from her storms in my arms. Sometimes a momma has to know when to discipline the child or just hold her till the tears stop.
I’ve read, Googled, and researched how to talk with her about entering womanhood and I still feel unprepared for the unknown. My husband is doing his part and we are adjusting to her changes.
Parenting has taught me that despite adequate preparation; you still aren’t prepared!!! I know we both will survive each season but I still wish time would slow down. I miss her wearing hair bows!
To the momma’s entering this stage of the mommyhood: Cheers!
To the momma’s who have survived: Cheers! Please help me with advice or encouragement because I feel like I’m entering the battlefield every day!
At the end of the day I’m present for her and I’m doing the best I can. Someday I hope she understands the choices we made were for her best interests. Parenting doesn’t come with instructions but hopefully we can encourage each other through these challenging years.