From Perimenopausal to Pregnant
We were a complete family of four and very happy with our family dynamic. I had been through the trenches of the baby phases, the toddler tantrum stages, and juggling a toddler and a baby simultaneously. My youngest had started kindergarten, and having both kids in school meant a new chapter in my life. I could focus more on myself and figure out what I wanted to do since I had felt lost after years of being a stay-at-home parent.
So of course, while starting to focus on myself more, I had been diligent about going to all of my routine checkups with all of my doctors and decided to go in-depth with some of the symptoms that I was having, at the time, I thought was normal because it has been going on for so long, and I had just gotten used to it. I had recently gotten my IUD removed after being told it could have been part of the issue but after months the symptoms never went away. After digging deeper with extensive bloodwork testing my doctor called to tell me that “I had undetectable levels of progesterone and estrogen and several other low hormone blood results that were a marker of ovarian reserve which suggested an issue with fertility.” I was a little surprised that in my late 30s, I had been diagnosed with as perimenopausal.
Being perimenopausal or menopausal had never crossed my mind at this point in my life for I thought I had many many years before something like this could happen.
But I was ok with it. After being told that chances of getting pregnant again would be very low (but could still happen) I thought that I didn’t have to worry about having to take birth control anymore which I wanted to be off of for years now. I had even talked to my husband about getting a vasectomy but wasn’t in any rush given my diagnosis knowing that I didn’t have all of the ingredients necessary to get pregnant.
Several months went by and then I started to feel sick. It was around the holidays so I figured being around a bunch of people and family gatherings I must have caught a little bug. Then my period never came. My thoughts were, “This is it, the great big change. I’ve finally hit menopause.” But then the sick never got better. I had read that menopause symptoms can be similar to pregnancy symptoms but I was in complete denial. Deny deny deny. It was almost near impossible right? What were the chances?
After many weeks of denial and, after finally in fact confirming that I was pregnant, I was shocked. So many thoughts going through my head. ” I don’t want to start over again”, “My kids’ ages are too far apart”, “What about my age”, “what about my mental health”, “what about my…” etc. I wallowed for months about all of the unknown “what ifs” of this unplanned pregnancy and how all of our lives were going to change. Over time though, as things started to finally sink in, and the closer and closer we got to the due date, I told myself that this baby beat the odds. She is meant to be. She has a purpose. And all I think about now is “What if this baby is the child that we never knew our family needed”.
As I sit here about to welcome our third baby girl into our family and be a now complete family of 5, whether you want more kids or not, no matter what you may have been told, perimenopausal or otherwise, anything is possible, miracles do happen, and things can change for you. It’s all about your perspective.
