Dear Marie Kondo,
My mommy recently made me spend an afternoon decluttering my things according to your KonMari method. She’s been watching you on TV and said we needed to clean out what’s no longer needed while understanding what’s most important in my life.
What’s most important in my life right now is figuring out how to unlock my parents’ phones so I can figure out what all those little squares do. But the second most important thing is spending time with Mommy, so I joined her on this mission to find joy through cleaning and organizing.
Here’s how our tidying festival went:
Clothes
We started with clothes. I’ve grown 13 inches taller since I was born, so I’ve outgrown a lot of clothes. Mommy folded all my clothing 18-months and smaller and put them in a big plastic bin that later went up into the attic. That was scary because that’s where our house monster lives. He roars every time Daddy flips a switch in the hallway outside my room even though I have repeatedly yelled “NO!” when he asks me if I want to flip that switch. Daddy usually pokes the attic monster through that switch anyway, and the monster gets so angry he opens up the ceiling with his roaring. Mommy quiets the monster by rolling her eyes and yelling, “Stop scaring the baby and turn off the fan!”
Anyway, that clothing bin is as good as gone because I won’t be going into the attic anytime soon.
Next, Mommy held up each piece of clothing still in my dresser and closet and asked me if it sparks joy. I hate pants, but I LOVE coats and shoes. I keep my coat on all day because when you have one as fabulous as mine, you don’t risk losing it. Shoes are okay to wear, but gosh, I love taking shoes off. There’s just something exciting about the sound and feel of Velcro coming apart as I rip off my shoes in the car. Such joy! Mommy usually sighs from the front seat and says, “You took off your shoes again?!” She needs some Velcro in her life.
I said YES to all my coats and shoes, and NO to all my pants, but Mommy said I can’t go to daycare in just a jacket and a diaper. Why not? This is America, right?!
We ended up keeping most of my clothes, which Mommy folded very carefully before putting them back in my dresser in neat, vertical rows. She looked pleasantly surprised at the empty space left in some of the drawers, and muttered something like, “More room for more cute girl clothing!”
Marie, you have some explaining to do.
Books
Next, Mommy took all my books off my shelves and put them on the floor. I have lots of books and they all spark joy for me! I especially love the ones that have flaps to lift. Or the ones that have holes I can poke my fingers through, like that one about the caterpillar who eats everything in sight. (I can relate.)
Because I love all my books, we didn’t give any away. But we did organize them better on the shelves, which is great because I’ve recently taught myself how to climb up on my toy chest in order to personally pick out the books we read at bedtime. Mommy nervously hovers behind me when I climb, saying I’m going to get hurt, but great literature is worth the risk.
Papers
Someday I’m going to be a famous artist, but for now, my crayon scribbles and dot paintings suffer from a lack of fine motor control. So I didn’t mind Mommy picking out a few pieces to keep in a plastic scrapbook box. The only piece of paper I care about is my birth certificate because it allows me to board a plane to visit Grama and Papa.
Komono
We trooped down to the kitchen to go through my utensils, cups, and toys. I’m not a fan of my special silicon plate and tried to tell Mommy that by saying AND signing “All done,” but she left it in the cupboard anyway. How am I supposed to finger paint with my barbecue sauce on a portioned plate? I’ll keep trying to give it to our dog. The plate definitely sparks joy for her.
She did toss a couple of my sippy cups that look like they’ve been chewed up by those wild things in that one book. Teething is painful; I had to take out my frustrations somewhere!
Because Christmas recently happened, I have a lot of new toys. I like them, but when I caught Mommy trying to put my oatmeal canisters, my coffee cans, my empty cereal boxes, and my crinkly water bottles in the trash, I pitched a fit. You don’t mess with the classics!
Sentimental items
Besides Mommy and Daddy’s phones (which I still don’t have the passcodes – Marie, if you really want to help me spark some joy you’ll help a girl out in that department), the only things I really love are my stuffed dog and dragon, my real dog, and this box of colors that Mommy only lets me use outside:
I do wish I still had Daddy’s car keys. I loved shaking those and the feel of cold metal on my sensitive gums. I put them in the big black bin in our kitchen for safekeeping one day when no one was looking, and haven’t seen them since.
Overall, the tidying process was fun. Mommy seems happy and I have more room for toys, phones, and coats in my room. Thanks, Marie!
Sincerely,
Grace, 20 months
