Three is such a big transitional age. I have twins and as they approached the BIG 3, I began to think on how much has changed from last year. We’ve transitioned to big boy beds, started using the potty, and become more independent. So here is the reality of how 3 big transitions with 3 year-olds will go and a few tips on how to make those transitions a little easier.
Transition 1: Moving from the crib to big kid beds
This transition is especially difficult with twins because their new found freedom has them wondering into each other’s beds giggling at all hours of the night. (It’s cute at first, then it just gets frustrating). They will also start waking each other up at 4:00 a.m. or decide to sneak downstairs to sleep in mom’s bed. Typically with twins, they follow each other’s lead. So, instead of battling one little guy to stay in bed at night, twin mommas are battling two. I used a lot of incentives to keep them in bed all night. Like letting them watch shows in the morning or letting them choose what they got for breakfast. (Unfortunately, chocolate or gummies were usually chosen. But, it worked for a little while).
I also tried a “wake up” clock once incentives didn’t work anymore. It’s great for training little ones to stay in because it stays red (which means kids are supposed to be in bed) until mom sets it for whatever wake up time she desires, then it turns green (which means they can get out of bed). It was a visual for them to see so they wouldn’t be tempted to wake each other up. I got mine off Amazon. I also told stories about how big boy dinosaurs stayed in their beds and if they didn’t, the dinosaur mom would put them back in their cribs.
Another issue I ran into was them coming into my room at night. At first, I would put them in bed with me. It was easy and I loved snuggling with them, but it started to become a habit. So I decided to put a baby gate in their doorway so they couldn’t sneak out of their room. They quickly learned that mom wasn’t tolerating it. It was A LOT of work, I won’t lie, but I was firm that nighttime was to be spent in their beds. I knew if I caved, I would never get them to stay in their beds all night. After LONG weeks (or maybe months), they both learned when they were put to bed, they needed to stay in bed.
On another note, I found separating them for naps was the only way they were going to fall asleep during the day. Just try to be patient and keep trying different things until your twins get that once they are put in bed, they are to stay in bed. My biggest advice here to keep them in cribs AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
Transition 2: Potty Training
Having two toddlers learning to use the potty is…extremely challenging. Especially if you are the kind of family on the go. I learned diapers are nice compared to racing around a park, mall, grocery store, whatever, holding two kids under your arms to find the nearest bathroom before a dreaded accident. Because when toddlers say they have to go, it means NOW! By the time you get them both into the bathroom, you will be drenched in sweat and standing in a dirty restroom repeatedly saying “don’t touch that, don’t lick that, get off the ground” and begging the other child to go potty.
Here’s the reality… by the time you get out of the bathroom and have made it to the furthest possible location, the other twin will THEN decide he needs to go. Yeah, sounds fun, huh?! At that point, the twin that already went will be crying because he “doesn’t want to go back to the bathroom!” Just keeping it real. Potty training is an adventure. Take it one at a time to save yourself from too much stress. Although, you will more than likely still find yourself in the situation above at some point.
Transition 3: Independence (AKA temper-tantrums)
You can read whatever your heart desires on how to avoid temper-tantrums, but the reality is, they will happen. It’s almost like they purposefully will alternate who is going to have a meltdown just to see how long it takes to break mom. One stops the other starts, and so on and so on. I can’t tell you how many times I locked myself in my room with two wailing children on the other side of the door. It’s coming momma if it hasn’t already.
Independence is usually to thank for these unexpected, unexplainable tantrums. Three-year-old’s test boundaries and want things exactly a certain way. If it isn’t given to them the way they want it, they will let the world know it. We’ve had meltdowns over the ketchup being in the wrong place on their plate. A drop of water on their shirts. Mom buckling the car seat instead of dad. Moving a toy car an inch out of the walkway. Putting on the wrong pajamas, putting on pajamas, taking off pajamas. You get the point. It all seems so pointless!
My biggest advice is to come up with a plan of action for these tantrums. So when one twin has a meltdown, the other will know what to expect. If you fly by the seat of your pants, you will get angry, or say something you wish you didn’t. Don’t take these crazy little tantrums personally. I failed hundreds of times and have gotten angrier than I’d like to admit. But after having three 3-year-olds, I’ve become a little wiser. I have found it’s best to calmly remove the screaming child or yourself from the room until they have calmed down. Trying to “reason” with a 3-year-old is USELESS when they are in battle mode. It just is what it is. And with twins, it’s times two. Just. keeping. it. real.
I have to end on a good note though. Having 3-year-old twins is remarkable. It truly is a blessing to watch them interact and they are at an age where they play so well together. The undeniable bond twins have with one another only gets sweeter with time. Now that mine are three, I am experiencing that “twin bond” more than ever. Three may be a challenging age and transitions are a struggle, but watching kids experience the world at this age is truly priceless. If you are lucky to have twins, you get to see it through two sets of eyes which makes all those tantrums worth it!
