January marks my 14th year of marriage!!! George and I got married at 25 and 28 in 2005. We were such kids. Our early years of marriage were fun, hard, and a great time to grow together. We really got to know each other. Before having kids we lived it up because we knew life would change dramatically after kids.
After 5 years of marriage, we had our Zoe and four years later our Jax. They have added so much to our lives, but with each kid, our marriage suffered. We had less time to ourselves individually and together. Sometimes it’s not always easy to get a babysitter or financially you just can’t go out.
Life became all about them. Their doctors appointments, play dates, and activities. Then when our son was diagnosed with autism, our marriage went through a rough spot as we dealt with things. Our marriage had also gotten to a place where we were like roommates. I know for me, I wasn’t giving my husband the attention he needed. It was a hard time but through it all, we became stronger. We are more united and closer than before. Here’s how we go there:
1. Dates.
Both of our kids are in school and he has a flexible schedule so we go out for breakfast. We hold hands and he opens the door for me. Sometimes we even go workout together and it’s so fun. We love going on walks too. We have a babysitter to call when we want to really go out. We try to not make our dates about the kids but focus more on us. We talk about interests we have and projects we are working on. Planning dates is hard with our busy schedules but it’s so important. I know it’s really helped our marriage. Sometimes our dates are just 14 minutes but I’m so grateful for them that it’s not quantity that matters but quality.
2. PDA and saying “I Love You.”
PDA (Public Displays Of Affection) go a long way. We try to kiss first thing in the morning, when we are leaving the house, and just randomly throughout the day. We like to grab each other’s booty here and there or just snuggle on the couch before he goes to work. We try to say after each kiss we love each other.
3. Mommy/Daddy Time aka, Sex!!
So everyone, who’s been married with kids, knows sex is not first on your priority list. At the end of the day, I’m so exhausted. I’m definitely not in the mood. By the time he gets home from work, I’m already asleep. Life gets so busy that we forget about having our mommy/daddy time.
My husband and I try to have sex at least once a week. We literally have to plan it because, with our schedules, it’s just what we have to do. We try to make it sexy and fun. We dress up a little for our dates. I put on makeup and do my hair. If he likes a particular perfume of mine, I’ll put some on. It’s nice to know after 14 years of marriage, we still find each other attractive, sexy and fun to be with. We are planning a three-day romantic weekend for the two of us in North Georgia to celebrate our anniversary and his 40th birthday. I can’t wait! We haven’t been kid free in 8 years.
4. Texting each other!
Texting each other love notes is great. I try to send my husband one special text a day saying how grateful I am for him or about how much I love him. Also how hot he is to me!
Daily random romantic acts in your marriage are important. Kids take up so much of our time that I forget my husband needs me and I need him. It’s all about finding what works with your busy lifestyle. I want us to still be great friends when the kids eventually leave the house. Our goal is to not be strangers and grow apart before they leave.
