Planning Parenthood…Again

Lately, I’ve been grappling with the idea of wanting another child. I love my 4-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter. Every day, they bring a new experience that keeps me and my husband on our toes. So, if life is great with 2 kids, another child will be great too, right? Well, slow down. Here’s why I’m struggling.

Time

I wish there was some cosmic phenomenon that caused the hours in the day to increase when you have children, but unfortunately, there is no such thing. I’ll have the same 24 hours as everyone else to get everything done. Right now, things are busy with a full-time corporate job, a son in pre-K and a toddler daughter. Between karate classes, play dates, and birthday parties, my free time is pretty limited. With a new baby, when will I have time for myself with the sleep-eat-diaper change newborn schedule? Plus, has enough time passed to allow my body to heal from my last pregnancy? I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I could stand to lose a few pounds. 

Now, on the other hand, having a baby will force me to take time for what’s important. Things such as those cute mother and baby cuddle moments or specifically setting one on one time with my husband, son, and daughter. During pregnancy, I’ll be more deliberate with my time to exercise (I love prenatal yoga!), to eat right, and to get as much rest as possible. Then once the baby is born, I’ll do my best to continue these practices for my 12+ month breastfeeding journey. As for my weight, that’s a work in progress. I don’t have a set goal weight, but as long as I implement healthy practices, my overall health is in check. Take that bathroom scale!

Money 

Have you heard the saying, “Time is money”? As a fellow mom, I’m sure you know kids can be expensive. Daycare alone is enough to make you cry! LOL! Then add on the cost of the various activities and gifts for all the birthday parties, your head will spin! Now that my daughter is 2, if we want to travel by plane, that’s 4 plane tickets. And I imagine the costs keep going up with more activities and one of the largest expenses…college!

But is money everything? I mean really. Yes, you need money, but how much? We’re not wealthy by any means, but we are blessed. Although daycare is expensive, I’m thankful we’ve been able to find a safe environment for our children. As much as I would like to travel the world, we’re not vacationing all the time. And who says, we need to jet set all over the world? I mean have you been on a long flight with a cranky toddler? My husband and I went on a couples trip earlier this year so maybe more trips like that can satisfy my travel urge. Or maybe more road trips are in our future. Furthermore, by the time my kids are of college age, perhaps college won’t be the typical path after high school. Just in case, I’ll still add some dollars to their 529 plans! 🙂

Mental Capacity

During this process, one of my main questions has been, am I mentally ready to have a baby? While there are physical and financial considerations, being “mentally ready” is important to me. The mental stamina to remain calm with a fussy newborn (as well as fussy toddlers) is totally necessary. Also, not to mention being in a good place to handle the “mommy guilt” of returning back to work and not spending as much time as I would like with my kids.

Fortunately, I have a support system of loving family and friends. For those times when a boost in confidence, I can turn to my husband, parents, and friends. Balancing motherhood, marriage, career, and self-care is so challenging. Having dependable support is so critical to keep my mental game strong.

As you can see, I can lay out the pros and cons all day. In the end, I am reminded of my two little blessings so far. I’m so thankful to have them. However, maybe the decision to have another child is not mine to make. All this stress cannot be good, right? As my mom says, I just need to let go and let God!  Are you considering having another baby? If so, what’s running through your mind?