I have always loved kids and even turned it into a nanny job for 6 years. I dreamed of the day I would have my own child to love and care for. On December 30, 2019 that day came. Harper Hill was born. My life instantly changed. Now I had this little life to nurture and care for. Although I was a new mom, I always had a sense of comfort because my fiance was not new to this. He was raising twin boys as a single dad, who are 5 years old. I knew whatever I had doubts about, he was there to bring stability in this new phase of our lives.
The first few weeks were not glamorous and I can’t name how many times I cried in the first month. But with the bad comes the good and there were many laughs throughout it all. With each day of learning, countless diaper changes, breastfeeding, and lack of sleep, there was my fiance seeming to not be phased by the crying (mine or Harper’s). He was calm and natural. He knew what he was doing. I looked at him with admiration but couldn’t help but feel a sense of jealousy. Here I was hair all over the place, wearing the same nightgown from the night before, half asleep rocking my son to bed.
We share different views on certain things like when Harper should start solid foods or daycare. No matter our differences on parenting, we also share similar thoughts. We want the best for our son. We want him healthy and learning new things. We have endless love for our growing baby and will do whatever we need to make sure he has a full life. We are all learning each other and growing as individuals while parenting. Even though I may experience insecurities on being a new mom, my fiance always reassures me I am doing just fine. Even though he’s an ‘Experienced Dad’ he’s still learning new things about Fatherhood because every child is different.
I am thankful I have a man who loves to be a father and knows how to be a partner as well. Who can embrace me as a new mom and can learn on this journey as well. There will be disagreements and arguments here and there; but hey we are human. Don’t go into it feeling like you have to have it all figured out. Embrace the newness and feel free to get advice and speak out about insecurities you might experience. You are not alone in this Mama and know you are doing a good job.