Are You Living the Life You Pictured for Yourself?

I was sitting on the couch Googling “Blog Topics.” Then the narrator on the TV in the background said, “Think back to your childhood– are you living the life you pictured for yourself?” Immediately I knew this is what I wanted to write about.

I grew up playing outside and frequenting the beach. As a small child, I remember going with my mom to deliver Meals on Wheels. In high school, I volunteered at a local marine research facility and at an AIDS support center, worked at a small video store, and was in almost every club imaginable. My “plan” was to study wildlife science and become a veterinarian, with an emphasis on herpetology. I also knew I wanted to become a Peace Corps volunteer, hopefully using my veterinary background to help farmers in some remote African village. 

My freshman year in college, I discovered how bad I was at college-level science courses. I had a professor recommend I change majors. After crying my eyes out and calling the professor all kinds of awful things (not in person, of course), I decided to major in Special Education. I’d spent a few summers working at a camp for individuals with special needs and loved it. I could see myself doing well in the field. My senior year, I applied with the Peace Corps and was asked to take a position teaching English in the Caribbean. But then a medical issue required me to remove myself from the program before I even started.

I moved to Florida, where I got a job as a Special Education teacher, then to the Atlanta area. When my husband and I moved to Tennessee, I decided 8 years of teaching was enough and became a case manager for adults with autism. When my daughter was born a few years later, I became a stay-at-home mom. 

Now I am a SAHM who teaches fitness classes and occasionally makes a few bucks being crafty. Growing up, I never thought much about being a mom, but now I can’t imagine not having my little monkey running around, making me utterly exhausted in the best possible way. I never would have considered I might not have a full-time career of my own, but I am blessed with the ability to do the things I do. People who knew the clumsy, klutzy, tomboyish me of my younger days definitely never would have imagined I would be choreographing routines for cardio dance classes, but I do.

So no. I’m not living the life I pictured for myself. But I think maybe that life wasn’t meant for me after all.