All my life I dreamed of being a wife and mom. I wanted the house, 2-4 kids, a husband, a nice job, and a perfect life. I laugh now at that naive woman! Didn’t we all want that? Especially those who had childhoods that were less than ideal and even more so if we had an amazing childhood. My unrealistic expectations set me up to fail.
Because of the pandemic, I quickly changed my mindset. I used to get so frustrated when things didn’t turn out perfectly. It could be the imperfect photoshoot, my house being a mess, my kids getting their clothes dirty, or not getting the grades I think they should. Not being the wife I thought I would be. I had to learn the hard way that my self-worth is not measured by being a perfect wife, having a perfect house and kids, or perfection itself.
Not to brag, but I am now embracing the hot mess mom life.
I am embracing the emotional roller coaster of being a mom. I am embracing the dirty laundry and toys on the floor; the meals that are not always being home-cooked. I am embracing healing from my childhood that wasn’t ideal so my kids can have a mom who is present in their life. I am embracing apologizing on the daily for my parenting fails and my kids and their imperfections that are crucial to their unique personalities. I am embracing my marriage and its’ imperfections. It’s a miracle we have been married for 17 years and have put up with all that life has thrown our way.
I am embracing it all and wouldn’t want it any other way. In all of this hot mess, I’ve become the woman I needed to be to survive.
I know now I’ve complicated my life by trying to live up to unrealistic expectations placed upon me by people who are hurting and are longing to belong. I’ve realized my life and my family needed to go back to the basics. My family and I are purging mentally and physically all that in our life that doesn’t bring us peace or joy.
We have sold or given away what we were not using and paid off the debt. We moved out of the house we were renting and moved into an apartment that has minimal maintenance. We have minimized our bills and are continuing to pay off our remaining debt.
My family is less stressed out and we are having more fun together. I don’t want my kids to look back at a picture of strained smiles where I was yelling at them to smile for the perfect family portrait. I want them to remember us having movie nights with stovetop popcorn and tons of candy while having the time to be truly together. I want the family portrait to be about us laughing and making silly faces at each other.
The lesson I have learned over the last two years is that life is not perfect. It is okay to be a hot mess and have a never-ending to-do list. Life is meant to be lived with all its messiness. Happiness is not achieved through being perfect anything. Happiness is when you are content with who you and your family are truly meant to be.
How have you changed since the beginning of the pandemic? Are you embracing being more of a hot mess mom? Share in the comments below and be sure to check out other encouragement for moms at Atlanta Mom.