Becoming a mother is an incredible roller coaster filled with joy, love, and a few (okay maybe several) unexpected twists and turns. Being an IVF mother of two, it is one I thought I would never get to experience. So lucky and grateful I did though because it has been the best roller coaster I have ever experienced.
While every mother’s experience is unique, there are certain pieces of advice that can help navigate the path of motherhood with a little more ease. As a mother of two littles, I wish someone told me these things as a new mom.
- Embrace Imperfection:
Motherhood is not about being a perfect mom, it’s about being a PRESENT mom. There will be days when you feel like you’re failing or making mistakes. Remember that it’s okay to have imperfections and to learn from them. Embrace the messy moments, learn to forgive yourself, and focus on the love and care you provide to your little one. They don’t care how clean you keep the house or if the sink is empty of dirty dishes, all they want is for you to be PRESENT!
- Trust Your Instincts:
As a new mom, you’ll be flooded with advice from well-meaning friends, family, and even strangers. While it’s essential to gather knowledge and educate yourself on topics such as your baby’s care, health, nutrition, sleep, and so much more, you always want to trust your instincts. No one knows your baby better than you do. Listen to your gut, be confident in your decisions, and know that you are the best advocate for your child.
3. Self-Care is Vital:
Motherhood often involves putting the needs of your baby before your own, but remember that self-care is crucial. Take time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. For me right now, it’s my morning hot cup of coffee I have while catching up on my podcasts or audiobooks after I drop off my kids at school. But as a new mom, it was taking a shower even if it was for 2 minutes. Prioritize activities that rejuvenate you, whether it’s reading a book, practicing yoga, enjoying a hot bath, or better yet taking a mom-cation. You’ll be better equipped to care for your little one by taking care of yourself. Need help to schedule some self-care time into your chaotic days? Get it on the family planner so your partner knows that this is YOUR TIME.
- Ask for Help:
Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Whether it’s from your partner, family, or friends, having a support system is invaluable. Reach out when you’re overwhelmed, tired, or in need of a break. The generations prior to us had a village to help them raise children. We need our own village as well. It may not be as easy as it was back then but it’s still possible. If family or friends are not nearby or unable to help then get hired help through a nanny, doula, or babysitter if budget allows. There are some great resources listed in the Atlanta Mom Pregnancy and Postpartum Guide. Remember, allowing others to support you doesn’t make you any less of a mom.
- Celebrate Milestones, Big and Small:
As your baby grows, celebrate every milestone, big or small. From their first smile to their first steps, these moments are precious and go by quickly. Take pictures, write in a journal, or create a memory box to capture these cherished memories. Celebrating these milestones not only allows you to treasure the present but also creates a beautiful record of your child’s journey. We personally love creating memory books. Cherish those milestones and memories in a way that makes sense to you and that works for your family.
- Find Your Mom Tribe:
Connecting with other moms can be a game-changer. Seek out mommy groups, attend local parenting classes, or join online communities. Surrounding yourself with like-minded moms who understand the joys and challenges of motherhood provides an invaluable support system. You’ll find comfort, advice, and friendship that will make your journey even more rewarding. To get started, open up Facebook and type in “city name mom” in the search field, and filter by groups. You should be able to find at least one mom group near where you live.
- Be Present in the Moment:
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in distractions. Make a conscious effort to be present in the precious moments with your baby. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and fully engage with your little one. It is so important to get at the child’s level when building that connection and attachment. Play on the floor with them instead of watching them play from the couch, have them sit on your lap while reading them a story instead of mindlessly watching TV, or go to the park and kick a soccer ball around to help encourage movement. These small moments of connection will become treasured memories, and you’ll witness the world through your child’s eyes which is a beautiful thing!
- Embrace Flexibility:
Motherhood is full of surprises, and flexibility is key. Plans may change, routines may be disrupted, you may never show up on time to an event again, and that’s all okay. Embrace the unexpected and learn to adapt. Your ability to go with the flow will not only ease your stress but also teach your child the value of flexibility and resilience.
- Give Yourself Grace:
Motherhood can be overwhelming at times, and it’s essential to be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace and permission to make mistakes. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself with kindness and acknowledging that you’re doing your best. Remember that being a mom is a learning process, and it’s okay to not have all the answers.
- Prioritize Quality Time With Your Partner/Spouse:
In the daily hustle and bustle, it’s easy to get caught up in the chores and responsibilities of mom life. But in all the chaos, never forget who helped you become a mother– your loving partner/spouse! Make a conscious effort to prioritize quality time with your partner/spouse. Having weekly or monthly dates can help maintain that spark and keep things spicy. If going out is not possible, then order takeout and have a dinner date without any distractions once the kids are in bed. This also allows you to have an adult conversation after a long day of mindless chatter with your children. Here is a tip: try dressing up even if you are staying in. Your partner loves seeing you in something other than leggings, a stained oversized t-shirt, and a baseball cap. Dressing up will also help change your mood, at least I know it does for me.
Becoming a mom is an incredible, life-changing experience. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood, these pieces of advice can provide guidance and support along the way. Embrace imperfections, trust your instincts, prioritize self-care, ask for help, and celebrate every milestone. Connect with fellow moms, be present in the moment, and embrace flexibility. Remember, you’re embarking on a remarkable journey filled with boundless love, and you’re never alone. Trust yourself, cherish the moments, and enjoy the incredible adventure of motherhood.
Want to share your own “What I Wish Someone Told Me…”? Add it by commenting below. Can’t wait to read what you share.