For the Mama of a Biter
There are probably a lot of blogs and opinions out there about what to do—or not do—when you have a toddler who is a biter. You’ll find best practices from professionals with years of experience or educational backgrounds in child behavior. I don’t have those credentials, but I do have a toddler that bites. While I can’t offer expert advice on how to change your child’s behavior, I can share what’s going through the mind of a mama dealing with it.
I know your mind may feel overwhelmed and worried. Your heart might be heavy with concern. This blog isn’t about fixing your toddler’s biting habit; it’s about helping you, mama. If you haven’t realized it yet, we can’t control a toddler. But we can control how we take care of ourselves.
So, what can we do for ourselves?
1. Give Yourself Grace – You’ve likely cried or felt on the verge of tears from feeling overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve heard from school staff or your pediatrician that biting is normal and developmentally appropriate. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel that way. Don’t rush to conclusions, but do take action where you can. Allow yourself some grace in this process—it’s okay to feel the way you do.
2. Avoid Falling Down the Rabbit Hole – Being informed is important, but remember, this might just be a phase. It’s good to read up on the topic, but try not to obsess over every detail. Overanalyzing can add unnecessary stress. Trust your instincts and balance your research with a bit of distance.
3. Don’t Resent the Messenger – This one can be tough—I’ve been there. Daycare workers and teachers are doing their best, and it’s hard to hear that your child isn’t the perfect angel you imagined. Always advocate for your child. Ask for proof, collect data, and look for patterns—what time does the biting usually happen? Where were they at the time? But as hard as it may be, try to extend some grace to the people delivering the news.
4. Seek Support and Community – Find a community of other parents who understand what you’re going through. Whether it’s an online group or a local support network, talking with others who’ve been there can be a huge relief. You’re not alone in this.
5. Take Care of Yourself – Your well-being matters. Make time for self-care, whether that’s a quiet moment with a cup of tea, a walk, or a chat with a friend. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself will help you better navigate this challenging phase.
Remember, mama, you’re doing the best you can. This stage won’t last forever, and you and your toddler will get through it together.
