Why My Mom Gut Kept Me Going: Our Autism Journey

This is so embarrassing to admit, but before my son was diagnosed with Autism, I was completely clueless. I thought Autism looked a specific way. 

Autism was first put on my radar when my son, Oliver, was 3.  I had casually mentioned to my pediatrician how difficult he was compared to my older son at the same age. After a series of questions from her, she said, “It sounds like he might have Aspergers to me. You should seek out an evaluation for him.” 

I thought it would be a cut and dry thing. I would just take him in and then just walk out with a diagnosis. Good grief. That’s not how it went at all.

It was incredibly difficult getting a diagnosis for him. In fact, it took me 4 years to get it. I saw psychologist after psychologist and it was so frustrating! They would spend maybe 20 minutes with him and then say, “I think he’s fine. Maybe just a little moody.” But my Mom gut knew they were wrong. 

As he got older, it became more obvious with his maturity among his peers. He’s smart as a whip, but his social skills are lacking. And once he hit Kindergarten, that’s when things got out of control. He was in a general education class with no diagnosis still, no therapy, and fending for himself. The school was wonderful doing the best they could considering he wasn’t technically in Special Education. But they all saw it. They knew he wasn’t just “moody.” 

Thankfully my Mom gut kept me chugging along trying to seek help and a diagnosis for him and I FINALLY got one for him at the beginning of 1st grade. I found a psychologist who heard my concerns. She spent real time with him and told me pretty early on it was clear to her that the had Autism. After hours and hours of assessments, it was determined he had Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). His IQ was super high but those emotional and social skills I knew he was lacking, yep…he was at the level of a 3-year-old. He was 4 years behind emotionally and socially but academically he was ahead by a year. BAM. My Mom gut was right! 

This has not been an easy road. There have been countless days where I sat sobbing because I wanted to help him or I was just plain exhausted. But Oliver’s diagnosis has helped me grow as a mom and as a human. I’ve learned to be more understanding and compassionate. And I’m definitely not as quick to judge whenever I see a child having a meltdown in the store. Bless ‘em. Sometimes I just want to do that Katniss thing where we salute in the air. Yeah, I see you, Mom. I support. Or who knows, maybe it’s the Mom that’s having the rough day. Whatever it is, let’s all just be more kind and compassionate. It makes the world so much better.

If you are on the struggle bus right now with your child and you are thinking MAYBE there might be something going on, please seek help. And if you aren’t satisfied with the answers, move on to a second opinion or a third or however many it takes until you feel heard. AUTISM LOOKS DIFFERENT IN EVERY SINGLE PERSON. Don’t be afraid to fight for your child.

For the record, Oliver is perfect to me just the way he is. I love him fiercely and I’m honored to be his Mom. Oliver has Autism but that doesn’t define who he is. He is a super smart, cuddly, sweet, funny little guy. His diagnosis isn’t going to hold him back from doing whatever he wants to do because I’m going to be right there on the sidelines cheering him on every step of the way. Everyone needs someone to believe in them. I’m his biggest fan.