One of the Reasons I miss Having Very Young Kids May Surprise You…

My youngest just started Kindergarten, embarking on a new chapter in his childhood. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my children are getting older…fast…and there are so many things I miss. Here are just a few:

  • Weekend trips together to wherever I chose, whenever I chose. Now that my oldest has a mind of his own, he can decline a day trip to go strawberry picking, or even to the store if he doesn’t feel like it. If we have some excursion he’ll want to insert a friend, otherwise, he will complain it’s “boring.”  When he was 5 years old, there was no argument or trying to convince anyone.
  • The cuddling. Now both of my boys are resistant to my smothering cuddles, save for a few fleeting moments. I used to be able to hug them as much as I wanted, and now have to sneak in their bed in the middle of the night for a snuggle. Sniff sniff.
  • The total dependence on mom. Kind of a double-edged sword here. Sure, they are more self-reliant now, which means more freedom for me as a mom.  Great news, right? Sometimes, not so much.
  • The small child activities. I used to love to plan our activities for the weekend. We’d start with an arts and crafts hours at our local Michael’s, a child-friendly building project activity at Home Depot, and maybe a fall festival with a bouncy house. Those days are ending and they can opt for more age-appropriate activities.  

As pathetic as it may sound, one of the oddest things I miss is the fact I always had a built-in excuse to not be accountable when it was convenient.

“Sorry, I can’t come to your party because that’s nap time for my little one,” or

“Sorry we are late…it took forever to get the baby ready and he spit up all over his new outfit,” or my personal favorite: “Oh sorry it took me 2 weeks to text you back. You know how it is, with small kids and stuff.” 

Now that they can dress themselves and are increasingly self-reliant, all those excuses go out the window – and this mom has had to ‘grow up’ as well to the reality of not having an excuse to not be present.

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Dana
Dana is a working mom of two active boys, ages 4 and 8. She was born in Tel Aviv and raised in Atlanta. With a background in journalism, she spent 12 years chasing deadlines as a news and documentary producer, writer, international news desk editor, and web editor.  After the birth of her first child, it became obvious she was not going to be the next Katie Couric or Christiane Amanpour. She was still dedicated, but the only thing gained from the grueling weekend and overnight shifts was a case of gastritis. She remembers being "so busy" she could not step away for lunch/dinner/breakfast and would have to shove the food down while hovering over her computer. The disgusting crumbs piling up in the keyboard were hers. As luck would have it, another round of layoffs was near and she seized the opportunity (having survived a few layoffs before). Several months into her severance she was fortunate to find a job in PR and Communications, promoting a subject that felt like a natural fit.   The most important lesson she's learned since becoming a mom is: NEVER say never. "I will NEVER shop at Costco, drive a car with a carpool number, become a 'soccer' mom, live near my parents in a house in the suburbs."  She now does all those things and more she never thought she would with the utmost feeling of gratitude.