My Child Went Viral on the Internet

We’ve all seen the videos. You know the ones with a little kid getting into mischief or saying something funny. They have millions of views and thousands of comments and shares. You’ve probably watched these videos in the carpool line as you mindlessly scroll through your phone. Maybe you’ve tagged your spouse in the video or shared it for your friends. But have you ever thought about the stories behind these videos or the families they belong to? Probably not. Have you ever clicked on the comment section to see what everyone is talking about? Not likely. At least I never had. Until one day I did.

A very popular parenting website shared a video of my daughter on their Facebook page. (Full disclosure, they had my permission.) Maybe I was naive, but what happened next completely shocked me and rocked me to the core. There were thousands of hateful comments not only towards me (which didn’t bother me) but towards my three-year-old daughter. Yes, my three-year-old innocent little girl was being torn apart on social media and it was all my fault. Talk about mom guilt. The comments went from calling her a spoiled brat (one of the nicer names), to what type of punishment she deserves, to even criticizing her looks. A three-year-old, y’all. 

The one comment that kept coming up over and over again was, “if you didn’t want your daughter to be judged then you shouldn’t have put the video online.” #momguilt. Reading these words over and over again made me realize something profound. These people sitting behind their screens are basically telling me we deserve this treatment because of my actions. But what if I compared that same analogy to a sexual assault? Yep, I just went there. Hear me out. What if an attacker said, “If they didn’t want to be touched then they shouldn’t wear X.” It’s the same thing. It’s a cyber assault. These trolls are cyber assaulters and they are assaulting our children. And it has to stop.

So to my daughter’s cyber assaulters…

I am this little girl’s mother. I’ve sat back and read these comments and honestly not a single one of them has hurt me because I know myself, I know my daughter, and I know the truth behind this video. Everyone has told me not to respond to your hate. But I realized if all of the words you are posting are permanent, then I want my words to be permanent too. As I watch my daughter play and dance across the room from me, oblivious to what is being said about her online, I want her to know that her mother defended her.

So let me tell you about the little girl you are calling a brat. The little girl who you are telling me to beat and send to bed with no dinner…

Her name is Piper and she is 4 years old (3 in this video). Her favorite color is purple. She loves the movie Frozen and knows every word to Taylor Swift. She is obsessed with makeup (obviously), costume jewelry, shoes, and all things glitter. The tackier the outfit the more she loves it. She is also not afraid to get dirty and go on a bug hunt. While wearing her sparkly shoes, of course. She is the best big sister to her baby twin sisters. Her laugh is infectious. She’s a hugger. She is extremely tender-hearted and sweetly sensitive. She is spunky. She is spirited. She is our Piper.

There is one thing you all did get right though. I’m not a perfect mother. I have 4 daughters (ages 5, 4, and 9-month-old twins) and I fail them every single day. But I get up each morning and do it all over again. Mom life is hard, y’all. Don’t even get me started on Twin Mom Life. I’ve already changed two diapers, cleaned up spit up, and carried two babies up and down the stairs 10 times in the amount of time it took you to call me a bad mother. Whether you’re a working mom, stay at home mom, single mom, younger or older mom. No matter your circumstances, motherhood is just plain hard. And I would find it difficult for someone to argue with that.

We wonder if they are getting a balanced meal or too much screen time. Are we too hard on them or too lenient? Nap schedules, feeding schedules, school schedules. It’s pure exhaustion. Mentally and physically exhausting. There is no clear-cut answer. There is no parenting handbook. And there is especially no handbook on how to handle social media bullying. But when my husband and I put our daughters to bed at night, we know that they feel safe and loved. So no, I’m not a perfect mom. But I am a good enough mom. And that’s good enough for me. And if no one has told you today, you are doing a good enough job too.

If you know me or my family, you know that we have a little saying we like to use for Piper. We always say “Because Piper.” Wears her clothes backward…Because Piper. Steps on a piece of glass and ends up in a cast (purple with glitter cast of course)…Because Piper. Ends up in a viral video on the internet…Because Piper. So the next time you feel the need to spew hateful comments to someone, especially a child, online, I hope you stop and think about actually saying it to their face. I hope you stop to think about this little girl’s big blue eyes as you call her, and I quote, “a spoiled rotten little {we will let you guess what was next}.” Whatever you do, I hope you just stop…Because Piper.

Has your child ever been the victim of a cyber assault or social media bullying? Leave a comment and tell us about your experience.

To help shed a light on the dangers of social media, please consider sharing this post using the hashtag #becausepiper. 

 

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Candence
Candence is an outgoing introvert who makes awkward first impressions. She moved to Atlanta from South Georgia 10 years ago when she followed her then rock star boyfriend, now husband of 7 years, to the big city. After struggling with infertility for two years they finally welcomed a daughter in 2012, Finley (age 3). Just 7 months later, they were shocked to be pregnant with their surprise blessing, another little girl, Piper (age 2). With two little girls just 15 months apart, she is constantly on the verge of crazy and is so far from crunchy she has dubbed her parenting style as “soggy.” Along with being a full time mom, Candence also works as a director of a small non-profit charity. You can usually find her if you follow the sound of Taylor Swift blaring from her house, but please don’t forget to bring the margaritas! 

25 COMMENTS

  1. I’m stunned that people would post terrible things! This video is fabulous. Ever child has moments like this. I am a good enough mom with two adult daughters who are each happily married Moms who grew up to be lovely successful women. My only regret is that I did not get video of their proclamations like Piper’s. My husband and I have repeated these stories to one another over the years and they STILL crack us up.
    Go, Piper! Go Mom and Dad!

  2. Oh my gosh, is that the video people are losing their minds over?? Girl, don’t think another minute on it! Piper is ridiculously adorable. She reminds me of my daughter (2 years old) and niece (3yo). They are both sweet, spunky, glitter loving girls who of COURSE want to play with mommy’s makeup! I mean, goodness, I was cracking up at this video because it’s SO RELATABLE. I hope your daughter never has to know the hateful comments this video stirred and continues her spirited ways. ….Because Piper!

    • Thank you, Jess! I definitely fear one day that she will be able to read these comments, which is why I thought it was so important to stand up for her. To stand up for any child that is being assaulted online. Here’s to glitter and sass…Because Piper!

  3. Oh my gosh, she’s too funny! I have a “Piper” of my own. 4 year olds know how to keep things real. It bugs the heck out of me that there are people who have nothing better to do than to make rude, snarky comments on social media. It’s ridiculous! You go mama!

  4. OMG, this video is a classic! Thanks for sharing it with the world. There is nothing to feel bad about here! Piper is great! So very vocal and just expressing her thoughts! Its gross that anyone could make negative comments about this video. I have two girls – both now in middle school and one day you will be just absolutely LOVING the videos you take of the girls when they are little! (I sure do! And my kids love watching them too (of themselves!)

  5. Aww 🙁 I totally understand what you’re saying. To me, the video is innocent and one of those funny things kids do before they know better. It’s the “unfiltered” parenting moments people say they want more of but then get mean about. I’m glad you addressed the haters, but don’t let them get to you

    • Thank you, Andy. Hard not to let them effect you when they are talking about your child. Talk about me, sure go ahead. It was when they turned to sweet Piper that just broke my heart.

  6. Wait, are you serious…?

    That sweet little clip “you’re so mean” was what ppl were losing their minds about?

    Wowwww. Do they even have kids!?

    Haters gonna hate, I guess.

    • Yes! And they Lost. Their. Minds. The comment section was nuts. For the sake of children, I sure hope some of them aren’t actual parents. It was that bad.

  7. Wow! I’m sorry this happened to you. I have a 4 year old “Piper” of my own and she is so fun, sweet, creative, charmingly mischievous and free spirited. I think most hateful people who hide behind their keyboards spewing ugly words don’t have children, or their children haven’t reached this age and they have a snobby “not gonna be my child” mentality. It’s disgusting how judgmental people can be. This was just a little girl acting like a 4 year old. Put down the pitchforks people!

  8. I guess at first she does come off as sounding a little “bratty” BUT it’s hilarious and she’s so articulate! She’s three and three year olds say stuff like that. Maybe those folks who dissed her don’t have kids? I feel for her though with her sentiment that “you never let me do this or that, this isn’t for kids, this is just for grown ups”. I remember being at a church flea market and I must have been probably 6 or or 7 and remember looking at some book or something on a shelf and the lady behind the table gruffly said, “That’s not for you, not for you.” Man, I remember it so well like it was yesterday, being told off when I hadn’t even really seen what the thing WAS. So I get Piper’s sentiment. 🙂

    • I honestly hope the trolls that were spewing hateful comments don’t have children. But unfortunately I’m sure most of them do.

  9. This js why I launched my new DO MOTHERHOOD TOGETHER line. It is time we came together as moms and stop the mom-shaming which is heavy on the social media spectrum. Motherhood is hard enough without feeling mom guilt because you question yourself as a mom compared to others. DO MOTHERHOOD TOGETHER is a new line that I am absolutely passionate about. You do you, and I’ll do me but together we can uplift and help one another. Maybe if we all supported one another, there would be less mom guilt, less mom shaming, and less mom suicide.

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  10. I’m so sorry that you’ve had vitriol and hatred written about you and your daughter because this video is nothing but a cute, sassy 3 year old mad at her mom. I mean obviously your daughter hears what you tell her because she was able to tell you why she couldn’t play with every piece of makeup ?

    • My thoughts exactly, Sarah! Clearly she was obeying me because she wasn’t using the makeup! The internet is baffling. Haha!

  11. She’s adorable and hilarious. I honestly think this video shows great parenting. She knows there are boundaries, even if she doesn’t like them. And she can state the boundaries and also her feeings towards them. You’re doing great mama! Keep it up.

  12. I am super confused on how anyone can say anything nasty about this video!! It’s adorable…. and if you have kids, you think it’s adorable!! Quite honestly Piper was a lot nicer than my kids would have been, haha! I am so sorry that you had to deal with any negativity and it saddens me to think that people would be so nasty. However, all we can do is keep being us and showing kindness to others the best we can. Good for you for sharing your side of the story and not letting mean-spirited comments get you down! Piper is a little doll and you should be one proud mommy!

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