When I first began to write I originally thought I was going to share tips and tricks for life with two kids under two. Well, I spent a lot of wasted time and laughed out loud because I honestly have none. There are no hacks for making life easier. Life with two under two is exhausting, messy and chaotic but it is also a lot of fun.
Taking care of a newborn felt much easier the second time around. For me that was the easy part. But before this, I never had to take care of a newborn while also taking care of a very active toddler.
They manage to always need a diaper change at the same time or my toddler wants me to play with him while the baby is crying to be held. If I can get my boys to nap at the same time then I feel like I won the lottery. If I get to finish my cup of coffee uninterrupted then it is a good day. I am definitely not here to share tips and tricks on how to make your day to day lives easier. But I am sharing with you some lessons I learned along the way. Here is some of what I learned so far as a mom of two:
- The perfect age gap does not exist. Some say there is a certain age gap that makes for the easiest transition. In my opinion that is false. Knowing my kids would be just 19 and a half months apart came with a lot of fear because of the close age gap. The anticipation of having two kids in diapers was scarier than actually going through it. Whether your kids are 19 months apart or 19 years apart it is all hard. Every age gap comes with different rewards and challenges.
- Uninterrupted time with your toddler is key. My son’s pediatrician gave me this advice and it has stuck with me ever since. Being present with your toddler with no interruption including my phone makes a big difference. Set aside that “special time” even if it is just for a few minutes. Of course he often wants our undivided attention all day everyday but he is learning to play independently and understanding that his baby brother needs me too.
- Sometimes it is just about survival. Some days you thrive and others you just survive. In the beginning most days were just about survival. My son probably had way too much screen time in the beginning and an endless amount of snacks. We were just trying to get by. Yes we still have many days like that especially during social distancing but other days we are thriving.
- Involve your toddler in daily tasks. There is not much an almost two year old can help with but involving him in as much as possible has helped. He loves to help hand me a diaper and likes to watch while I give his brother a bath.
- Do not compare. Your kids will have different personalities and what worked for your first may not work for your second. My boys are similar in some ways but also very different in others.
- It does not get easier, the challenges just become different. The beginning challenges I faced were being sleep deprived while taking care of a newborn baby and a toddler. My oldest also had to get used to having a baby around. That definitely gets easier in time. However, with kids that are developing and changing everyday you will be faced with different challenges. I have learned to just embrace the challenges each day brings me instead of waiting for things to get “easier.”
My oldest will soon turn two so I will technically be leaving the “two under two” stage. I will shortly be entering the stage of the “terrible twos” with my oldest, and my youngest will start crawling around and teething before I know it. For now, I am going to enjoy this time while they are young and look forward to many more lessons I will learn from being a mom of two.
