I am usually a person with pretty tough skin! I can dish it and take it and won’t even cry about it…unless I am overpumped with hormones and pregnant. Being pregnant is supposed to be a time to enjoy the miracle of life that my body is growing. A time to let my waistline spread and not care. A time to be emotionally irrational and no one say a word about it.
With that said, sometimes there are certain triggers that are bound to send me into She-Hulk mode whether a person intended to or not!
“Are You Having Twins?”
This is really a no-brainer. When a person asks in an incredulous tone whether or not I’m having twins; I KNOW the insinuation is “You’re huge!” Well, look at you, genius. Thank you for informing me of a fact that I am more than well aware of. No matter how many “bless your heart” phrases you tack onto that sentence in your southern charm, it does NOT make it any less rude. I am already a plus size lady, there’s also a gut full of human going on here. Just how compact do you think I should really be? If you do find yourself surprised by my belly size, the suggestion is to keep it to yourself.
“Do You Have Gestational Diabetes?”
It never ceases to amaze me how nosey people can be when you’re pregnant. Suddenly, any question is permissible because you’re pregnant! Except not. As a plus size woman, I often face a lot of assumptions about my size, my health, and my self-esteem. When I’m pregnant, suddenly people are even more concerned. If I had a dime for every time a perfect stranger inquired about whether or not I had developed diabetes I’d be rich. If I had an additional penny for every time they were surprised my answer is no, I’d have a nice cash bonus. I appreciate the genuine concern, I really do, but try not to assume that because I am larger, I am the poster girl for every pregnancy risk factor that exists.
Breast Feeding Agenda
Sigh. This is a topic that truly frustrates me. “Breast is best” is a mantra I’ve heard many, many times. There are some women who will downright call you a bad mom if you tell them you’re going to bottle feed. They do not care what has happened that has made you come to that decision because all they know is “breast is best.” I’ve had statistics, facts, websites, lactation referrals etc. shoved in my lap since my belly began to show. The reality to me is “fed is best.” In all honesty, I struggled with breastfeeding with my other two children. It was downright exhausting, anxiety ridden and became a fueling agent for my postpartum depression. I ultimately ended up formula feeding and it relieved a lot of stress for me and my babies. This time around, I’m probably going to try and breastfeed again, and if I am successful great! If I am not, still great. If you ask me about breast vs. bottle and then try to engage me in some sanctimommy banter, please know that I am going to stop you mid-sentence and waddle away. Please respect my choices as a mother.
“But Vaginal Birth is What God Intended!”
Forgive me, not that I can speak for God, but I feel like He had a lot of intentions with the creation of mankind. Somehow I don’t think my birthing method is high up on His list of concerns. I am a scheduled 3rd time C-Section mama. If you ask me how I am delivering and I tell you this, you are not privy to my reasons why. I am not required to disclose my birthing history and complications to you. Just know that this baby is going to vacate at the time designated for him to vacate. There is nothing else to discuss here. NOTHING. Say congratulations and keep it moving.
“How Are You Feeling?”
Okay, so maybe this doesn’t really upset me as much as I find it funny. Do not ask this question unless you really want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. This means be prepared for me to maybe burst into tears, tell you about my heartburn, my relentless exhaustion, my Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction, my incontinence, how I am no longer limber during grown-up activities and whatever else pops into my head! I know you mean well, but the reality is I am 2.5 weeks away from delivery. You can bet your bottom dollar that I am every bit as miserable as I look. Cheer me on, tell me you can’t wait to see the baby, but you can skip right past the “how do you feel” question. I promise you, I won’t be mad.
So tell me, fellow mamas, what kinds of things irked you when you were pregnant? Drop a comment or join the discussion on Facebook!
I had a waitress one time ask me if I meant to order decaf coffee when I was pregnant. Nope. Please bring me my caffeine before I go into a pregnant rage!
OOOOH! That’s terrible!
Ah yes! Caffeine monitoring was also a pet peeve! My doctor said it was OK so no questions people!
I remember someone physically removing a bottle of soy sauce from my hands when I was pregnant with my oldest… because of the sodium. Um, thanks for being so concerned about me, but that’s my job and my doctor’s job. Grrr…
And yeah, caffeine… just try and take that from my hands & you will see a pregnant woman kick your butt!!
“Looking at you makes me glad I won’t ever be pregnant again.” Said to me by a coworker when I was pregnant with twins. Who was actually a mother herself.