My Anti-Resolutions List

Last year was my first year actually writing down resolutions. There was a certain comfort in watching my accomplishments complete before my very eyes. I looked forward to opening my journal and making that prideful checkmark.

My Anti-Resolutions List

This year in a post-lockdown world, I think I took on more than I intended. At the beginning of 2021, I was tired of being home-bound and ready to release myself back into the world. As I sit right now with a full calendar and a constant running list of tasks to complete I can’t help but think about all the things I might have done a little differently this year.

That’s why I’m putting together an anti-resolutions list for 2022. These are a few things in my life that I am ready to release in the new year and a couple of them I hope to release permanently. 

In 2022, I will not focus on weight loss. That’s right, I’m going against the grain. After 2020 I was feeling pretty guilty about all the junk I ate while quarantining at home. I noticed the scale going slightly up and decided in 2021 I would make a change in order to drop the pandemic pounds. I laser-focused on strict eating regimens and an intense workout schedule. While I fully believe eating healthy and moving your body is important, it started to feel like a chore instead of a lifestyle change. Eating food that tasted good started to make me feel guilty. Running, something near and dear to me, felt like it was just something I had to do instead of something I enjoyed. By the end of this year, I decided to ease up on myself. Putting conditions on something you love can make it feel daunting. I kept some healthy eating habits but allowed myself food freedom as well. I started running and lifting weights for fun again and not because I had to in order to make a certain number on a scale. I started to buy clothing that fit me instead of trying to fit myself into old clothing. I hope to continue this path in the new year. I want to eat healthily and move my body in ways that bring me joy but I don’t want to resent it.

I will stop negative self-talk. This one relates to the previous in a way. I have a pretty bad habit of seeing anything and everything about me, my choices, and even my writing in a negative light. I have decided that this has got to stop and one simple tool has already helped me in achieving this goal. I mostly struggle with my body so when I start to hear my inner self begin to bully my body I try to stick to neutral comments toward myself. For example “I have a stomach, my stomach has carried two children” instead of negative comments about my stomach. I can apply this to anything that I feel insecure about. Using this new tool has already brought me to a more positive mindset and has encouraged the same change in all aspects of my life.

I will stop putting myself last. This is a big one for moms and especially those of us with young children. I tend to put myself last a lot and while some of that is just simply the nature of motherhood, it can also breed burnout. It’s important to get in time for myself at least once a week. Whether that’s a full hour or two of junk tv, a nice long bubble bath, or spending a little extra on myself when shopping. I hope to continue to make time to do something that relaxes and rejuvenates my mind and body and practice it as regularly as possible in the new year. 

I will no longer hold other people’s opinions of me higher than my opinion of myself. Especially in the face of social media many of us are always “on” or trying to put on for other people’s consumption. As for me, I spent the majority of my life trying to be someone everyone would want to be friends with, and yet I still managed to fail many times. That’s just it though, a never-ending cycle of perfectionism and I was still not everyone’s cup of tea. I feel like I’ve abandoned myself enough in the face of trying to please everyone else around me. In the new year, I hope to listen to myself more. I hope to listen to my wants, my needs, my beliefs and tap into the identity that I’ve willingly abandoned for so long.  

I will stop looking to the future and enjoy the now. I was talking with a friend about this one and we felt as though we tended to look forward to the future instead of embracing the present. Always looking for the next step on the ladder tends to overshadow the joy and fulfillment of the current step you’re on. While dreaming of and working toward the future certainly has its benefits, sometimes it can kibosh even the most wonderfully basic moments in the “right now.” I am most guilty about this with my children. I find myself saying things like “I cannot wait until my youngest can -fill-in-the-blank- so it will be easier/more fun/etc.” I hope in the new year I can let go of this kind of thinking in all aspects of my life and live to enjoy my present.

I will not overcommit in the new year. I feel like many moms can relate to this, especially this year. I was so excited about reconnecting and participating in everything again! Starting in May every single weekend was booked with something. We tried to ease into summer but really we were just excited to see our friends and our family again. Then school and extracurriculars began and that’s really when everything ramped up. Almost every night of the week we were rushing to something and trying to check off to-do lists. Our weekends were so slammed we didn’t even make it to our annual trip to a pumpkin patch this year. In 2022 I hope to slow down just a little bit, commit a little bit less, enjoy the present, and really embrace the moments when we have nothing on the schedule.

I hope creating my anti-resolutions list enables me to nail down a list of true New Years’ resolutions as well! What are some things you are releasing in 2022? 

anti resolutions for moms

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Kelly VanBeek
Kelly is an aspiring free spirit, a metro-Atlanta native, and stay-at-home-mom to a mischievous 3-year-old and spirited 6-year-old. When she is not chasing her kiddos through Walt Disney World, you can find her running on a trail, scoping out local markets, cheering on the Atlanta Braves and Georgia Tech football, reading, writing, and sipping iced coffee. She lives with her husband of 11 years, her two daughters, and their fur-kids: two dogs named Molly and Jack and a cat named Caesar.