When we think of self-care, our minds often turn to indulgent massages and spa treatments.
While those luxuries are appealing, they aren’t always accessible to many on a regular basis. Furthermore, the concept of self-care should encompass the holistic well-being of the mind and body. It’s important to recognize that our mental state can influence our physical health and vice versa. How often do we criticize ourselves for not doing what we think we “should” be accomplishing, resulting in us becoming overwhelmed by our responsibilities? As moms, we devote much of our day to caring for others, but we need to make sure we also dedicate time to nourishing our own bodies and spirits.
Today I’m sharing a few methods to practice self-care that don’t cost anything, take minimal time to implement, and will pay you back in wellbeing.
Adopt a “Get To” versus “Have To” Mindset
We often view our responsibilities or self-care opportunities as things we need to do to check a box. What if we looked at it differently? For instance, you may block your calendar for a 30-minute workout and tell yourself, “I have to workout today.” What if you reframed this as “I get to workout today”? Similarly, consider shifting from “I have to go to work today” to “I get to go to work today.” Simply changing the wording makes the task seem less like a chore and gives it more value, fostering a more positive outlook.
Practice gratitude
This aligns with the “have to/get to” mentality by focusing on what you are grateful for. Finding the silver lining in life can be very calming and grounding. While it is frustrating if the kids don’t eat any of the meals you worked so hard to prepare, practice gratitude for your ability to put a meal on the table for your family. If you had an especially tough day at work, focus on appreciation for having a job.
You might find journaling a helpful expression of gratitude, perhaps placing Post-It note reminders around the house, or simply being intentional with your own thoughts of gratitude. Small shifts in your mindset can have a great impact on your overall well-being.
Strive for balance
Speaking of to-do lists, do you have any to-avoid lists? I certainly have a list of things that I know can bring my spirits down. Establishing boundaries can help you minimize unnecessary stress. For example, you might consider limiting email, social media, or news consumption to certain times per day or week, or checking in with yourself when you start worrying about something that is either out of your control or is way in the future.
Practice Self-Compassion
Reflect on your inner dialogue. Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? If your inner dialogue would be embarrassing if broadcast on a loudspeaker, it might be time to reassess it. Kindness begets kindness and it starts with how we treat ourselves. We are quick to beat ourselves up over small “failures” and not appreciate our successes. With moms I speak to, this tendency is particularly evident in relation to “being productive.” We put so much pressure on ourselves to be productive at every moment, that we are not prioritizing rest or other fulfilling. If you took a nap while your baby did instead of tackling your to-do list, celebrate it. That is what you needed at that moment and it is perfectly okay.
Find your community
We all know that having a support system is helpful, but did you know that strong relationships can promote good health and longevity? A recent 85-year-long study from Harvard found that happiness in relationships was one of the biggest predictors of future health and happiness. Stress is a natural response that we all experience, but the key to avoiding chronic inflammation or stress lies in the body’s ability to return to equilibrium. By talking with a confidant who is a good listener, a person can navigate the stress and begin to decompress. Finding a community during the busy season of life with young children can be challenging, but consider reconnecting with old friends or check out this article on how to meet other moms in a similar phase of life.
Remember those flight safety demonstrations when they advise you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others? Let’s incorporate these principles into our everyday lives. As much value as we put on children, work, and responsibilities, let us also value rest, self-love, and fulfillment of our minds and bodies.
In what ways have you prioritized yourself?
