My ex-husband is coming to my wedding. Um, excuse me…say what? Most people won’t get it, but that’s okay. Especially given our history. We were married for 11 years and it was a messy divorce. Like realllllly messy. Never in a million years did I think we would ever be on decent terms again much less have him attend my wedding.
When my ex first asked if he could come to the wedding, my initial answer was, “No. That’s really weird. Why would you want to come?” He then explained to me he wanted to support me, my future spouse, and our kids as a family. I was completely shocked. I had no idea what to say or how I felt about that. He told me to take some time to think about it and a couple of months went by without me giving him an answer so he asked again. I was hoping my fiancé would make the call, just say no, and it would be an easy decision. But it wasn’t that way at all.
I honestly don’t know how my fiancé is the way he is. My friends call him a saint because he went from bachelor life to full-time Dad to three kids without skipping a beat. He’s one of the most down to earth people you will ever meet. He never dwells on the past and fully lives in the present. When I asked him how he felt about having my ex at the wedding, his response was “I don’t care. He’s really changed a lot in the past 7 months. It’s fine with me as long as you are okay with it.” I really had to examine my heart to make sure I was okay with it. I didn’t want it to be awkward or cause issues on the big day. In the end, I realized it really didn’t bother me. I am 100% fine with him attending as a guest at the wedding.
So here we are, 3 weeks away from our wedding. And my ex-husband’s girlfriend texted me today to ask what she should wear to the wedding and told me she’s excited about it. And I’m excited to share our day with them too. When your life is filled with happiness, it makes things so much better. Instead of looking at our past as this horrible thing, I’m looking at the present. And in the present, there are lots of people who love and support the kids. That’s what really matters.
Will people judge us for having them at the wedding? Probably. Will people understand? Maybe not. Do I care what other people think of it? Not anymore. I chose forgiveness. So now, I walk in freedom.