Breaking the pacifier habit was one of a few toddler milestones question marks on my list after my son’s second birthday, and it seemed like the best one to tackle first. I gathered ideas from the internet and other parents. Most fell into 4 categories: remove the appeal (cut the tip, dip it in something not tasty), stage a grand send-off, gradually phase it out, or just take it away “cold turkey.” A neighbor of mine chopped her son’s pacifiers with a pair of scissors one morning and declared them broken. My mother said, “One day we took them away and you didn’t ask again. You must have been ready.”
As with most things parenting, there never seems to be one magic solution. I eventually put the research away and waited to see which ideas came back to mind as the days went on. Ultimately, our approach to leaving the pacifier behind turned out to be a hybrid.
Here’s how we broke our toddler’s pacifier habit:
Cutting back:
We’d already been limiting our son’s pacifier use to sleep, downtime (reading in our bed), and long or late car rides. The first thing we did was try to phase the pacifier out of those activities. We tried to make it a nuisance by making him take it out any time he wanted to say something, we offered to “keep it safe” on the nightstand while reading, and we didn’t bring it into the car at all.
Adding in replacements:
The pacifier was a critical part of our bedtime routine. Rather than try to replace the pacifier all at once, we added in other comfort items weeks (even months) beforehand. By the time we were ready to take the pacifier away, our son was used to sleeping with a special stuffed toy and a blanket as a part of his routine. If we knew we would be driving for a long time or after bedtime, we brought those items into the car as well.
Paying attention to clues our toddler was ready:
At bedtime, we offered our son his “replacements” first and the pacifier last during his bedtime routine. One day, he didn’t ask for the pacifier and we didn’t offer. The next day he did ask for it, and we simply said, “It’s in the bed. You can have it after your story.” He didn’t complain and, just like that, the pacifier was no longer the anchor of our bedtime routine. At that point, my husband and I decided it was time to make our plan to retire the pacifier.
Choosing a plan that would make sense to our toddler:
My son is very verbal, has an incredible memory, and holds a grudge for a long time. I knew he would need a strong memory of saying goodbye to the pacifier (one we could talk about when he asked)–and also that we would all have a very hard time if I chopped his pacifiers with a pair of scissors. So, we capitalized on his interest in the mailman. Two weeks before our pacifier send-off, we floated the idea of “mailing” my son’s pacifiers away in exchange for a package with a special nighttime toy inside. We helped him tell his aunts, uncles, and grandparents about the “Paci Package” that would come to increase his excitement. When the day came, our son put all of his pacifiers into a box and walked them to the mailbox himself. His package arrived that afternoon with a cuddly dinosaur inside.
(In case you were wondering, my husband, snuck outside later that morning to throw the pacifiers away and we timed the Paci Package Day with an Amazon delivery.)
Here’s what happened after we said goodbye to the pacifier:
The day we sent the pacifiers away, my son didn’t nap. He didn’t nap for 3 days. Fortunately, that meant he was tired enough to go to sleep at night without much trouble. He also wasn’t able to put himself back to sleep in the mornings, so wake-up time was at least an hour earlier each day. Oh, how I wanted to bring the pacifier back. I would have gladly pre-paid the orthodontist bills to get his naps back. Then, one day, he was tired enough to fall asleep in the car (which he never does). After that, naptime slowly came back. Then, he put himself back to sleep one morning until his normal wake-up time. The only thing we did to “help” was to keep his routine: putting him down for a nap even if he didn’t sleep, and leaving him in bed for as long as we could in the mornings.
Two months later, our toddler is back to being a great sleeper without a pacifier. No more waking up extra early in the morning and only skipping naps once or twice a week. He still mentions the pacifier every once in a while, but he’s happy without it.
