Dear Son, I’m Not Ready.

Dear Son,

I’m not ready for it.

I’m not ready for your last field day. I’m not ready for the award ceremonies to begin. I’m not ready for you to walk down the halls for the last time. I’m not ready for you to clean out your desk full of fun erasers and books you can’t keep your head out of. I’m not ready for 5th grade to end. I’m not ready for your new class assignments or for you to have a locker. I’m not ready to send you down those big hallways to middle school. I’m just not ready.

I’m not ready for the puberty talks or to talk about the birds and the bees. I’m not ready for you to have a real crush on a girl. I’m not ready for you to save up your money to buy a Valentine’s gift. I’m just not ready.

I’m not ready for any of it.  

But I have to be. I’ve got to suck it up because ready or not, it’s coming. I want to protect you from any hurt that may come your way from the pain we all know as middle school. I want to show you I’m there for you regardless of what the world will throw at you next school year. I want you to know you’re incredible and believe that about yourself. I want you to know it’s okay to fail as long as you are trying your best. Because as Albert Einstein says, “Failure is success in progress.”

I can’t shield you from the world, but you know what I can do? I can give you all of the love and encouragement to let you know you matter. Your voice matters. I am proud of you. You are loved, valued, worthy, and enough.

I don’t care how old you get. You will always be my little boy. The one who made me a Mom. And I will still embarrass you (in a loving way) every chance I get by blasting Queen and singing at the top of my lungs. Because it’s in those moments that we laugh at each other and act silly that I look at you and see just how much you’ve grown. I’m trying to fight back tears as I watch you hop out of the car at carpool. I want to soak in the moments with you before they are gone. Because before I know it, it won’t be an Elementary School graduation I’m attending.

There is just no good way to wrap up an emotional letter to you so I’ll leave you with this: Be confident in who you are! Confidence is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Don’t be afraid to just be yourself. You are awesome!

Love you to the Moon & Back,