What If?:: One of Life’s Biggest Questions

Do you ever wonder, “what would have happened if I had done this?” Or “how would my life be different if this had not have happened?” I think, whether we truly want to admit it or not, we have all had those moments. I know I’ve often asked myself what my life would be like had I actually applied myself in school, versus just skating by. Or what if this would have happened that day versus what actually happened.

But would all those what-if questions truly have affected the outcome of your life?

I’ve been open about the loss I’ve experienced the last eighteen months (one of the reasons it’s taken me a while to put pen to paper — or rather fingers to keyboard). It certainly has been the furthest thing from easy – figuring out life on your own, and keeping our family afloat. But in that time, I’ve been able to do some self-reflection. I often ask myself what if there would have been a REASON my husband couldn’t have worked that day – would he still be alive?

One thing that this tragedy has given me is the opportunity to reconnect with people – people I knew ages ago, in my ‘past life.’ Reconnecting with these people has given me closure in many ways. I understand why I cut ties with most of these people, but for others, it was just that life got in the way.

When you sit and think about life, the roller coaster of emotions, the past relationships, the losses, and or mistakes you may (or may not) have made, you begin to realize…

Everything happens for a reason.

Even if you don’t understand the reason at the time.

If I had the opportunity to know the answer to all my what-ifs, life as I know it would be completely different. I wouldn’t have my children, my cats, my dogs.

I wouldn’t have been forced into becoming the strongest person I could be. And despite all of those what-ifs, I have decided, I don’t regret a thing.